Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
