Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
