YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
