So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
