And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
