haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
