wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize