On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
