I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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