Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
