We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
