he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
