Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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