we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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