I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She bit a glass in half.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
