I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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