she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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