haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
