RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Bring me that man meat
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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