is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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