I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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