i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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