i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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