Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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