she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
