she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
