i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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