We're like a lot better than the average bears
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
