I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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