Kiss
Puke
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
