their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
