honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Terrible idea I love it
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
