guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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