sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
