Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
