Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The ass gains better be worth it
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize