operation harelip BJ is a go
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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