judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
