she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
