If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
