I am puke
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
