What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
