yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
