I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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