Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
