i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
