No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
