why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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