don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
