so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
