she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
