we have officially lost it.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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