It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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