I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
