i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
