party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
