i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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