Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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