dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
