I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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