You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
