There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
